yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
