just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
