He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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