tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
