just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
