Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize