honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
