can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
