yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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