that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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