last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
