My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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