yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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