I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
