your parents love me but you hate me
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
