how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
