We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
