i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
