So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
