So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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