we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
