is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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