That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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