i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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