Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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