You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
