babies were throwing up all over the place
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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