Small penises have feelings too.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
