She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Semen is not good for contacts.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize