Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize