I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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