if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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