Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
