She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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