Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
