elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
