there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
