sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
