the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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