I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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