that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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