dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
