let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
