He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
