I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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