did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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