The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
