i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
