What did we do last night that was yellow?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
