The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
