This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
