EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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