You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
