he shaved USA in his pubs
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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