i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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