I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize